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[Nov. 7th, 2009, 02:52 pm] |
i probably have a song for almost every single one of you out there that means something to me, because people come and go, but songs, you can play them over and over and relive, remind, remember. sometimes, its not my choice. i like my iPod on shuffle. then all of a sudden, BAM.
'Lips of an Angel' by Hinder comes on and reminds me of Michael.
'Just the Girl' by The Click Five is the song I intro-ed Jervis to. 'Guardian Angel' by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus made me cry thinking of Mummy and Daddy. 'Cancer' by My Chemical Romance made me cry thinking of Gonggong in his dying days. 'Haunting' by Anberlin just screams Auntie Lorna and Lolo to me. the chorus of 'Beautiful' by Eminem and The Beatles' 'Dear Prudence' is my message to Milli and Mandi.
'Two Is Better Than One', Bruce intro-ed me to that one. Byrne gave me all the crappy songs like 'I am Cow' back in 2005, the heydays. the chorus in 'Time After Time' as covered by Quietdrive is for Tony. Nick has many songs to his name because he has his Song of the Day thing. but the most prominent is 'Party In Your Bedroom'.
'At the Beginning' was 1A's theme song. 'Because of You' was our TJNB'06 karaoke song on the bus to Kallang. Ailin's favourite. Metro Station makes me think of the Boobz.
Copeland's 'California' is my song to myself, a reminder that the world does not revolve around me. Come back. 'Leave' in the voice of Glen Hansard is what I imagine I will play everyday following any breakup I may induce or suffer.
Some people don't have songs, but they're already embedded in a part of my memory already and songs don't necessarily capture the essence of what I feel. Like, Aaron, who's the best big-brother figure I could ask for, Ximin, Charmaine, Mel Chan, whom I watched as she grew from some young chatterbox to a sensible character, and the entire old bunch. Maybe the D&D dance mix would fit. I don't know. I just miss a lot of people, but I know we can't turn back time. I'm meeting a lot of new people, some of whom I wish I'd met earlier. I'm forming friendships, some I wish were as simple as a straight line and not a web of mess, and some friendships I like things the way they are.
I put songs to people's names, I put labels to them, not because I objectify them as things or items that I make use of. I try not to take them for granted. I try not to take advantage of people. I try not to hurt or disappoint, because 1) I've hurt and disappointed a countless number of times, and 2) I've also been hurt and disappointed on quite a few occasions.
I'm opening up now. I'm living life. There's A Levels starting in 2 days. It's going to drag on for the next month. 9, 10, 11, 17, 19, 30, and the 3rd of December. Not really looking forward to it, but in terms of school life, there was nothing much to look back on, really. Just well, TJNB'06, the fighters of '07, the Boobz in '08 and this year, we were still the same. the MEP kiddos and compo camp, rushing everything, and how we're still trying to figure out gangsa from gender, bali from java, and getting murdered by the detail that chinese music encompasses. 1A/06 winning O'Nite that year with me and Angmian and our two ponytails, Hydra and hercules... 05/08 winning English Fair and topping the year off with the most outrageous stage rampage... The people, the people. the people that made me stay in Temasek JC.
Life's full of people. we can't avoid them. If i was still stuck in my depression I'd be tearing my hair out by now. But there're people like the 603s, aaron, jervis (we're on this roller coaster all the time huh?), family, dr sim, auntie clara that make the daily goings-on much more endurable. I would like to sing everywhere I go, because I have so many songs to sing about so many people. I live my life based on lyrics in songs.
lose yourself in [the music,] the moment; you own it, you better never let it go. you only got one shot, do not miss your chance.
this post has been nothing but ranting. i'm such a machine.
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